I am just 4 days away from my scheduled C-section on Monday when I'll finally get to meet the little boys who have kicked my stomach for months... who I never thought would actually become my children. It was a hard, long road to dream about having a child, and with each year that passed, I recognized that I wasn't going to be a mom that year. So in every sense, the boys are my miracles.
People talk all the time about how much joy being a parent is, and for a long time, I didn't think that was going to happen for me and my husband. Being pregnant has truly been one of the most eventful and amazing experiences of my life. I know some women hate it - and I'll admit that overall I'd had an awesome experience and would never say I hate it, my body is ready for a rest - I will miss looking down at my bump every day for the last 9 months and seeing a part of my stomach reach out to me. I say this now, but I think this will be the only time I'll be pregnant, so I'll miss experiencing this again in my lifetime.
The first 3 months were the most difficult - I had textbook morning sickness that didn't stop till around 15 weeks. But then, at 16 weeks, I think I finally experienced what pregnancy is supposed to be. I wasn't sick anymore, I could sleep, some minor pains came and went and my stomach started to show.
Once I hit 7 months, the heaviness of carrying two little people caught up with me. Fatigue set in more, my clothes became too tight, and each week that passed that the boys continued to grow meant that I was hopefully doing my part to keep them healthy and safe. Decorating their nursery really meant that this was real - that in a short time my home and life would be changed forever. The dogs would wander in their room and sniff around, and I'd sit in my glider and look at their cribs. We washed their clothes. We rearranged our home. We planned coming home outfits. Total strangers started stopping me more and more and asked when I was due. And every time I said, "I'm expecting twins", the look of surprise, and I think perhaps shock, that I'd get made me excited.
This week, I've finally reached 37 weeks, which is considered full term for carrying twins. My doctor did not expect me to get this far, and actually, I've been out of work since I was 35 weeks since I was at risk for pre-term labor. Daily activities were starting to become more and more difficult - from driving to just sitting at my desk for 7 hours, to sleeping. I can't tell you when the last time I slept through the night completely.
My stomach is huge, and I don't mean that as a negative. I'm happy to report that the boys are estimated by the time they arrive to be around 6 pounds each - which is a blessing given that they seem to be healthy little guys with each ultrasound and doctor's visit. I have been extremely fortunate that they have stuck it out this far, and decided not to arrive early even though I'd love to meet them. I wanted them to stay put for as long as possible because it's better for them. Plus, the thought of my water breaking in the middle of the night or out in public was my biggest fear.
My pregnancy hasn't always left me feeling physically my best, and I've had to put myself and their health first, which meant House Of Jeffers got left behind. To be honest, I don't know what's going to happen to the blog when the boys get here. I think they will probably change my blog and what I decide to share dramatically. My life isn't just what I decide to wear. I'm going to be a mother now, and my priorities are shifting dramatically. I think I want to talk about what really goes on in the House Of Jeffers, and not just what I decide to wear. Style will always be a passion of mine, but I want to expand myself further beyond just what's on the outside. The boys have already become my world, and I want to be able to talk about my experiences as a mom juggling life, work and having a family. Changes are coming, and I hope that you will return to House Of Jeffers to see all that's new and exciting for me.
So for now, I'm taking a break so I can spend the last 4 days of my life getting used to it not being just me and my husband, and getting ready to welcome the biggest and most rewarding change I'll ever experience.
I'll be back, but until then...