Thank You, 2015!

 Photo by Jody Gianni

I will say that 2015 was the best year of my life. For two very cute and precious reasons...

I guess when you have children, you become more aware of the time that escapes you. Considering the boys are now 8 months old, I look at them every day and ask myself, "Where did my little babies go?" They are growing up so fast, and already making big strides in their growth. Landon and Nathan can both stand and crawl, are excellent eaters, grant me many nights of sleep because they sleep through the night (I probably jinxed that now that I said this), and of course, make Mike and I so happy. It is truly instant love when you have a baby, and each day when I come home from work just gets better as they are excited to see me. All the changes that have come to our life have been things more interesting. Some for the better and some, well, just different. We roll with the punches and look forward to the future.

But, I have learned many new things this year that have open my eyes to this new time in my life.

1.  I am a mom, but I'm not Super Mom.

Being a mother was and still is a learning process. I don't have all the answers, but I do what I feel is best for the boys. I can't tell you how many times I've asked myself a question out loud just because the pure thought of figuring out the answer baffles me. I'm sure if the boys could communicate with me, I'd be better able to figure out what they need in those moments of crying. But, I do what I can, and do what I know. However, the sense of pride I have in myself knowing that I do all that I can to raise two happy little dudes in the best way I know how is rewarding.

2. There's never enough time for anything.

 This revelation pertains to two things in specific:

A. My blog.

I'm putting it out there - House Of Jeffers isn't my first priority. I still love blogging, I love writing, and I absolutely love playing dress up. But, I don't know many bloggers who have twins who also work full time. The days of going outside on a nice day to take photos has escaped me since my sons are my absolute priority. Their needs trump anything that is going on in my life. I have tried my hardest to sit down at the computer and pen interesting posts with visuals - but I haven't done a good job of it. I'm often tired from work, and then, have responsibilities for the boys that need to be addressed. By the time it's bedtime, I'm exhausted. Or, on the days when the weather does cooperate and I can go outside, something comes up where I can't pack the boys up to take photos. Maybe when the boys are at the point where we can take them for walks and do more things with them I'll have more opportunities to carry on with the blog like I want to. But for now, I have to fit House Of Jeffers in when I can. However, to compensate for the lack of posts here, I've been upping my game on Instagram at House Of Jeffers - where you can find me anytime. A small compromise, but still, an effort I"m trying to make.

B. My social life.

Um, what social life? Listen, I'm well into my mid-30s, and not that life is over, but I'm not interested in going out and spending money on things that I don't need, nor, do I need to go out partying since I'm married. But, the free moments I had for girl's night out are few and far between. I've had to miss out on lots of things and that's okay. It's part of being an adult and being a parent that I signed up for. I can only complain so much considering my family goes above and beyond to watch the boys when social engagements come up. My husband and I try our hardest to maintain as much of ourselves and our hobbies as possible, but parenting takes a precedence to anything else we have going on. Not many people can understand that, and may be mad at me for it. I can only say that when they are in my shoes, they'll know what I mean.

3. Being a mom doesn't mean I have to give up who I am.

The mom bun is not part of my style routine. I don't own a velour jumpsuit. I still wear heels.

I still put on my makeup, do my hair and of course, pick out an outfit to wear that says "Jen", but a stylish mom-version of her. 

Not all aspects of being a mom are glamorous, but that doesn't mean I have to rough it every morning in order to get the boys ready. Getting myself dressed and pampering myself in those small moments makes me feel like I'm more ready to take on the day. So while I might not get out of my PJs till 12 on a Sunday, when I do, I look like my normal self.

4. At the end of the day, nothing else matters except for your family's happiness.

Listen, things don't always go the way I plan. People sometimes turn out to be jerks, and let you down. But compared to what's going on at home - it's all trivial b.s. that will work itself out. As long as the people I love are happy - who cares about anything else? If you can't control it, don't waste your time worrying about it. That mantra is something I preach but don't always practice, so I have some catching up to do in 2016. 

But, 2015 was amazing. I loved every minute of it, and I hope you did, too. If not, you can always start over... and January 1 is a great place to start.

Have a wonderful, happy, amazing and adventurous 2016!

True and False: Parenting Perceptions

Three months into being a new mom, I'm discovering lots of unspoken truths that come with the territory. No matter what advice or nuggets of wisdom people give you, there are just some things that you discover firsthand. Although I'm caring for two babies, and babies seem to have a lot of shared routines and behaviors no matter the gender, I will say that taking care of newborn twins at once is completely different than tending to one.

Perception when it comes to parenting is a mere assumption of "how it is". And then there is truth - the way it really is but never really gets discussed because as a parent, you end up figuring out that all those parental perceptions you thought were one way, are not as they seem.

So, let's dive into these disillusions of parental truths, and expose them for what they really are, shall we?

1. Changing your baby in public

The perception: If you have to change your baby's diaper while out, it's simple: You just use the changing table in the women's restroom.

The truth: Maybe I'm paranoid, but there is no way in hell I'm putting my 3 month old sons on top of that changing table. To even call it a "changing area" is an insult to changing tables. It comes as no surprise that public restrooms are the places where germs and cretins convene and have germ orgies. And everyone who enters that restroom is leaving a little bit of their cooties behind.

Perfect place to lay down my kid, right?

I keep a foldable changing pad in my diaper bag, along with wipes and antibacterial lotion. One glance at the state of the stalls and toilet, let alone the changing table, and I wouldn't even put down my changing pad on a public restroom changing table... or put it back in my bag.

The reality: You end up changing your child in your car. I have a truck, so I can open the trunk and lay down one of the boys there.

2. Sleep deprivation is soooo funny.

The perception: Knowing in advance that you are going to be woken up at all hours of the night is a source of humor for people when preparing you for parenthood.

The truth: Sleep deprivation IS NO JOKE. Ask me how many times I laughed my ass off when someone mentioned all the restless nights I was in store for.

Um. Zero.

The reality is that you will be so tired, your head will be hitting the back of the chair as you feed your child. You'll cry just a little bit inside when you're running on 2 hours of sleep, and just when you nod off to sleep, you'll probably be woken up again in an hour. It's all in the name of love - I love my sons unconditionally and when they cry, I want to be the one to soothe and comfort them. But there have been days when I'm so tired, I worry that I won't have enough energy to get me to the rest of the night without a nap during the day. But on those days when we've had a rough night, the last thing I want to do is laugh about the sleep I'm not having.

3. People respect your privacy as a parent.

The perception: This really isn't a parenthood perception, but more of a human being perception. Strangers going about their business respect each other's privacy, and you in turn show the same courtesy.

The reality: People, especially women, assume because they had a baby, and so did you, that they can ask you really personal questions about your children and you because you have that in common.

I didn't think much of this at the time, but a woman, who was very polite and innocent enough, was asking me about the boys and my delivery. I obliged and answered her questions. But she asked me if I was breastfeeding or bottle feeding. I answered, then we carried on our conversation.

I thought about it later, and it made me think: This woman was asking me such a personal and intimate question. What made her feel she had a right to know? If a guy came up to me and asked, I probably would have been creeped out.

Does that mean I have the right to ask her about her sex life? Maybe I should have, actually.


4. There is no such a thing as stupid questions.

You've heard this phrase before. And while I've asked my fair share of stupid questions, I like to give people credit for using their own common sense when it comes to enquiring about my children.

But some people are not so gifted.

I have been asked a lot of stupid questions, and have heard some equally how should I put it - annoying observations from strangers about the boys.

The top of the list: "Are they twins?"

<Insert epic eyeroll here..>

I hate to sound ungrateful for the curiosity and attention the boys receive, which, 95% of the time is positive, but let's break this down: I'm pushing a double stroller, with two car seats on it, with two babies who are the same size, and while Nathan and Landon aren't identical twins... It's pretty safe to assume they are a.) brothers and b.) twins.

Looks a little something like this:

Obvious, right? I could understand if the boys were a different age and in appearance were visually bigger than the other. But they're not.

Another question I get is: "You must go through a lot of diapers?" or "Do you change their diapers a lot?"

Well, I do have two asses to wipe, and I don't let the boys sit in filthy diapers for hours. And, even though there are two of them, essentially they ARE babies, so yes, we breeze through diapers. Parents of singleton's have the same experience so I'm not sure why it's fascinating to wonder about shitty diapers, but people love to ask.

The joys of parenting are amazing! But nothing prepares you for your new role other than diving in, and not letting what other people tell you taint your vision of what it is. Personally, I try to take the words of warning I get and keep them in the back of my head as a friendly "head's up", but I don't let it mold my idea of what being a mom should be.

What are some of your parental perceptions that you've discovered aren't what you were told?

Strolling through Spring

Landon and Nathan will be 1 month old. I really can't believe that a month has gone by and the boys are a month old. I don't know where the time went. I probably lost some of it during the hours I wake up in the middle of the night for feedings, the naps, the diaper changes and the moments I get to hold them and just enjoy their smiles and sleeps. Being a parent is exciting and a learning experience. While there are many times I find myself searching for a mommy answer in the non-existent baby manual, I think it is absolutely true that your maternal instincts kick in, and you just figure it out...

Another aspect I'm still getting used to is not having a pregnant belly. Sure, I miss carrying the boys, and now I truly get to carry them in a whole new way. But, I will admit it's nice to have my body back and to return to wearing my non-maternity clothes. I always felt like I dressed like "me" when I was pregnant, but after a while, I did miss my old clothes.

On our first walk around our neighborhood, I put on this flower print babydoll dress I bought at H&M while I was pregnant. It's comfortable enough to spend the day in with the boys, yet, it's really feminine and can be dressed up with heels or flats.

Luckily, the weather has been on my side, and I've been able to not only dress myself in my best spring attire, but give the boys' daily outfits some adorable baby flair, too!

Details:

Floral Print Babydoll Dress - H&M / Blue Aviator Sunglasses - Urban Outfitters / Pink Flats - Old Navy / Baby Jogger City Select Stroller