Change You Can Relate To

Sometimes, you have to face the fact that things change... and it's really an awkward feeling. In my case, House Of Jeffers has strayed away from my original plan when I started blogging almost 5 years ago.

When I created the blog, I was working as a copywriter for Barneys New York. My day in and day out was consumed by fashion, which motivated me to create my own space on the Internet where I could share my personal style. Also a major factor in my life, and still to this day, is/was my love for England. I owe it to my husband for bringing this influence into my life - bringing his culture in to my life. I was so in awe with the UK and the stylish women of London who wore heavy black eyeliner and a nude lip like no other. They still look gorgeous, and I'm still jealous that I haven't nailed down the look. The name "House Of Jeffers" was truly inspired by royal houses of England - taking part of my last name and using it to create my own royal "house" filled with a fabulous wardrobe that I loved.

Fast forward 4 years later, and much has changed in my life. Focuses have shifted beyond the blog. Obviously, the biggest of which was the birth of my sons. Before them, my blog was the thing I nurtured in my spare time. And England was the place I turned to for motivation in my blog. It was the niche I created for myself. It was my thing as a blogger... or so I thought.

But it seems as though the part of me that loves England didn't fully translate well with my audience. And I've kind of had a good idea that that was the case for at least a year now. I was holding on to this idea of being a NJ blogger with a UK point of view because honestly, I was scared that I wouldn't know what to do with my blog. Being from New Jersey, I thought that wasn't interesting enough because let's face it - the state gets a bad reputation. I was worried that I would just be a blogger with nothing to contribute. But let's face it: When do I really talk about England? When was the last time I incorporated a hint of UK-inspired anything in to my outfits or let alone, my blog content? It's probably been at least 2 years...

About two weeks ago, I joined Periscope on a whim (you can find me at House Of Jeffers). I didn't know what I was going to do being on it, but the first day I signed up, I did my first awkward broadcast of talking to random strangers who were watching. One of which was Mister Newton (hey buddy!). While I might have stumbled over my words, and didn't have much to say in the 10 minutes I scoped, I managed to find other people on the platform offering invaluable information on growing a business, connecting with your audience, and being more business-oriented when it comes to my reach as a blog. I've know since started scoping on a daily basis about blogging, fashion and being a mom.

As a result of joining Periscope, I basically had my ass kicked by Hilary Rushford of Dean Street Society, Zach Spuckler and Nicole "Soprah" Walters. Watching their scopes on various topics relating to entrepreneurship and expanding my reach, I started to put things in perspective with my blog and what I was actually doing on it. The reality is: I am doing some things wrong. I was complacent with my blog. And I was scared out of my mind because this meant I had to change House Of Jeffers.

Hot off of attending Periscope Church, my newest social media place of worship, I asked one of my dearest and most honest friends:

Me: "What do think my blog is about? I know I have this whole UK thing, but I feel like I can't do anything with it."

Her: " I don't get England from your blog at all."

I was relieved. I needed someone else to confirm what I was thinking. She pressed on:

Her: "When I tell people about your blog, I tell them how you dress head to toe in clothing that looks expensive, but it's not. That you always have one thing on that is a little more high end than the rest, but your entire outfit looks like it cost more than what you spent."

Honestly, I never thought of my blog like this. But she was right. She works with me everyday, and sees what I wear to work, which isn't much different than my outfit posts on my blog. I started to get really excited about this because I felt like there was an opportunity to start over on House Of Jeffers - with real intent that is relatable to other people.

That's it! Relatable style. House Of Jeffers is about creating relatable style for women who don't have a loaded bank account with money to burn. Because I sure as hell don't. I just know how to fake it with my clothing.

So there it is. A new change:

House Of Jeffers is all about bringing relatable style to you. I will show you how you can be fashionable on a budget and still look like you spent $200 on your outfit, when I only spent $70. I'll mix the relatable, economical with the high-end obtainable bag you've been drooling over... then tell you how to get it on the cheap and cheerful. Oh, and I'm still talking about being a new mom on here - that will never change.

I am so happy to share my new direction with all of my readers. I truly feel like this is the direction I should have been taking a long time ago, but was too afraid to do so. I am so motivated to make House Of Jeffers my best ever, and I'm actively taking steps to improve as much as I can. A new design is on the horizon, too!

If you've been a longtime reader, or are new to my blog, I just wanted to say how grateful I am for your patience with me as I get back into blogging. Being a mother is my number one priority, and that calls for me to put my family first. But, the free time I do get I cherish, and I still love House Of Jeffers. I'm doing my best to be the best blogger I can be, so I can bring you the best content. And so I thank you for all the support you've shown me. I hope you'll continue to stick around and see how it all pans out.

All my admiration,

Jen

#MomLife: Returning to Work is a Mother

Today, I became a working mom. It's a bittersweet day filled with a ton of emotions that I was not looking forward to facing. Until a couple of months ago, I was a pregnant mother-to-be only able to imagine what it felt like for millions of women who stepped into motherhood and returned to work a short time after their babies were born. Fast forward now, and the phrase "Hindsight is always 20/20" is very real.

For the last three months, I've been set in a routine of caring and bonding with the twins. Each day is different - some are adventure filled, some are lazy spent at home completely content in watching the boys in amazement, some are rough and long as one of the babies might be feeling not so well, some are filled with new developments as the boys discover something new... and some are just like any other day. The feelings of looking at your child and having more and more love in your heart for them with each passing day is something that can't ever truly be expressed in words. But as each day turns to night, the lingering reminder that my new routine would become old news pushed me one day closer to the end of my maternity leave.

I'll admit - I was dreading this day, and not for the reasons you might think. Unlike some moms out there, I happen to have a job I truly love. It's the best job I've ever had, actually. But, the idea of spending 12 hours a day, five days a week away from my sons makes me feel like I'm letting them down in a way. Will they feel like I wasn't there for them? Stories of children being resentful toward a parent who worked haunts me. Will the boys lose interest in me and love Daddy more than Mommy because he's home with them more now? I have already packed up 4 picture frames with their photos to turn my cubicle into a Landon and Nathan Mini Museum...

I keep telling myself that I'm not the first woman on the planet to face this day. And I know it will be harder on me than it will on them. But how do you get over knowing that you'll be missing out on many "firsts"? I'm going to lay one of my fears out there: I'm almost nervous to come home and hear that one of them did something new - and because of that, I'll be a little bit jealous of my husband (who will be taking care of them during the day) when he tells me about the cute thing Landon or Nathan did. Babies change so much in the first 3 months, and now with the boys approaching 4 months soon, I know they'll be changing faster than ever. It's inevitable that something monumental in the book of memories they're working on will happen. I just have to face it.

But that doesn't mean I'm prepared for it...

The debate on stay-at-home moms and working moms contributions to the family have been heavily debated, and I won't be another woman who pins one against the other. Both are equally important. And each family is different. The decision a family makes together or a mom decides on her own to return to work or stay home isn't for me to judge. And frankly, no one else should be doing that either. Unless you yourself are ready to take care of a someone's baby 24/7 and pay all of her family's bills, then you really don't have a right to lay societal stereotypes on her capabilities as a mother if she returns to work. I have respect for mothers, period. No matter if your throne is an office chair or a rocking chair - duty calls as the powerful keeper of your domain.

So, as quickly as a became a mom, I proudly take my new title and add a little something extra to it. The first week will surely be an adjustment for me, and I know in time, I'll get used to it. But for now, I'm working through the emotions, and minimal sleep, to write a new chapter in my book of life.

Let Life Happen

FACT: To say that my life has change in past 2 months would be a severe understatement. With Nathan and Landon being 10 weeks now, I am more nostalgic of the day they arrived. 

I have my sons to thank for all the new experiences I am becoming familiar with. Most of all, becoming a mom has opened my eyes to much more perspective. It's a completely new side of life that I always wondered about before I was pregnant. Finally, I get to experience motherhood, and being twice blessed with twins is something I am infinity grateful for. I really can't say it enough. I'm reminded of how fortunate I am to have them every day. It's all happening fast, and I wish I could slow down time to make the days last longer so they won't grow up so fast. People told me time was going to fly by once they were here, and they were right. The time I have with mu children is precious and is all theirs. 

Which is why my appearances on House Of Jeffers have been... limited. As you can imagine, my days are much different than they were pre-motherhood. Since being on maternity leave, going outside to take outfit photos is truly an ordeal as I plan everything around the twins. I owe them all of my attention and care, so stepping away to sit at the computer, when I could be watching them play or watching them smile in their sleep is where I should be. Every bathtime, every feeding, every diaper change, every cry - as their mother, I don't want to miss a thing. 

During it all, I think I've done a good job of retaining the parts of me that make me, me. I still keep my routines like maintaining the length of my bangs (even if I cut them myself more often). I make time at night to paint my nails. During feedings, I check Instagram or my Twitter feed to get in touch with society outside my little home. I keep my love for style going by committing to get dressed every morning in anything but sweats. I can happily report that pony tails and t-shirts have NOT become my Mommy Uniform. Dresses on the daily, actually. Although I might not have time to go shopping, I live vicariously through magazines to feed my shopping addiction. Besides, buying clothes for the boys is a lot more fun than doing it for myself. There's no way I can resist a smartass quote on a baby onesie... 

Each day is different. And challenging. Caring for two newborns at once is everything you think it is - tiring. But, the rewards of a hard day are seen in every moment where Nathan and Landon learn something new and develop their personalities. It's amazing. They're amazing. I love them more than I can explain...

But, one thing I think about, and miss, is blogging. Don't get me wrong - being a mom is beyond amazing and the best thing EVER. It gives me a sense of purpose that was missing in my life. But before my new role as a mom, blogging was my way of keeping myself busy. House Of Jeffers became my personal oasis of writing about personal style. 

I have my blog to thank for keeping my sanity in terms of creativity for many years. The fashion community is rich with women who are trailblazers and influencers that I can credit for inspiring me daily to produce content that I 100% stand by, and hopefully, my readers enjoy. Style is always evolving, and so is my own sense of it, and self. To fill the void of not working in the fashion industry and missing England, I created House Of Jeffers with the goal of encouraging people to be themselves - as original, odd, weird, unique, trendsetting or indifferent as they can be. And it hasn't always gotten me to where I'd like to be - and that's okay.

And if you're a blogger, you know the struggle is real.

From firsthand experience, I can say that me not following the crowd in the blogosphere hasn't always led me to the most popular of places, or put me in rank among more successful bloggers. To put it bluntly: I know my own sense of style - while not so "out there" or trendy or along the standards of what is considered stylish - hasn't put me front and center in front of brands and other bloggers. It hasn't given me 50, 000 followers on social media or dropped opportunities in my lap. It hasn't always led me to make friends with people who I thought were genuine people because  it turns out they viewed me as different or not on their level (and I'll save my stories experiencing snubs for a later time).

... My blog might not be the biggest and most popular. But it's mine. I've done it my way, and am proud to say that I didn't given in to conformities and standards of what others thought it should be. #sorrynotsorry

But I've changed, and will continue to do so. And I think it's time House Of Jeffers does, too. 

Style is still the single most important way to express my personality without opening up my mouth. But my new role as a mother has shed light on so many other things that relate to me now. There's other facets that I want to explore with my writing, and in turn, share with you. I don't hide the fact that I talk about my boys - a lot - ever since April. And I don't plan on stopping that at all. In fact, it's going to continue so much more, and expand into new territories and topics beyond outfit posts.

My plan is to feature more about my life, and create posts that speak to new mom, non-moms and everyone in between. Some posts will be personal, some will relate to children, some will explore content that relates to making life easier through shortcuts and tricks I've discovered. I don't know... more variety, really.

So, I ask you to please hang in there with me. As I get my footing as a new mom and a writer, be patient with me. House Of Jeffers IS NOT ENDING. It's expanding.

As always, I am so appreciative of all the support my readers and brands have shown me! Big love to all of you!

Until then, I'll be cleaning up spitup while sitting in my rocker thinking about what I want to share with you next on the blog.

Stay tuned - the best is yet to come!

Jen

Note To Self: Wear More Hats

As of late, I feel a real sense of urgency to follow my heart, try new things, to not stand in my own way of achieving personal goals... And to wear more hats. I must admit, I'm digging this new-found feeling... and the fedora. I scored it over the weekend at where else, Forever 21 during a 50% off sale. Oh, and the flannel is from there, too.

But in all seriousness, I've got some pretty fun things coming up on House Of Jeffers that I'm really excited to share with you. A couple of contests (including one on Monday), new spotlights on brands that I've been an admirer of, and of course, new outfits. Plus, I'm going to try my darndest to give you a different glimpse into me... not just me standing in front of outdoor backgrounds (because let's face it, that is a give in with fashion blogs), but to show you some of the things I love beyond fashion. 

But let's get one thing straight: Fashion will never take a backseat here. This is a fashion blog at the core... I'm just dipping my clothes hanger in the water... 

As always, any and all readers of House Of Jeffers motivate me to keep being me... and not conform to what the blogger standard has become. I can only be me, and while that might not make me the most popular girl on the block, it has to mean something. People change, they grow up... and I'm adult. I can't like unicorns forever.... or can I?

Hopefully, as more changes come, the more inspired I'll be to write about them. And it's only just begun...

What I'm Celebrating On My Birthday

So, today is my birthday! And not to sound like a complete and total narcissist, but I absolutely love celebrating my birthday. It's the one day that really is all about you - and sometimes, being a little selfish in that respect. 

But this year for my birthday, I'm celebrating the fact that change has come my way. Finally. For starters, I got a new job! This was a much needed change, if not one of the most important change, as my job was playing a huge role in causing me stress. But, now, I get to start a new month and write a new chapter in this book called life.

The second thing I'm celebrating is my having supportive friends and family. During some of my struggles this year (which I've kept away from House Of Jeffers), I've had people in my corner standing beside me, encouraging me to believe in myself and to give myself a little more credit, showing me support by letting me lean on them when I felt I couldn't carry some of my burdens. I am so lucky to have a wonderful husband, parents, family, friends and readers who continue to remind me of what's important in life. Having this foundation is the most meaningful, and I never take for granted how fortunate I am to be surrounded by truly selfless individuals who show me love.

Oversized Cardigan - Forever 21 / Polka Dot Tee - Old Navy / Brown Leather Skirt - Forever 21 / Black Double Fringe Leather Bag, Beaded Hamsa Bracelet, Black Leather Bracelet - Brandy Melville / Black Suede Booties - Target

And finally, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't celebrating my birthday gifts, some of which I'm wearing... I've been pining for a fringed bag, and my mother was kind (and cool, might I add) enough to buy me this one from Brandy Melville, along with the leather bracelet and beaded hamsa bracelet!